Mike's Daily Podcast

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 513 Friday May 17th 2013 6pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Okay, I said no show today and that we wouldn't be back till next week. Change of plans. If you don't like change, try freezing yourself cryogenically and emerge 50 years from now to see that the Democrats and Republicans are still bickering over big government versus state's rights. You'll notice nothing ever changes. And we still keep voting for the idiots.

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the return of the segment NEWS RANDOM where we hear about one of the strangest things I've ever heard having to do with pigs.

Tomorrow we definitely won't have a show. I'm going to be dejaying a birthday party and will be mixing the tunes, but we will return soon and bring you the return of the segment MASTERPOD THEATER, plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley.

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 512 Thursday May 16th 2013 8pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

I am interviewed on the website VoxElectro about this podcast! I am so thrilled! I wonder if anyone reading this read that interview and if they know what it's like to be interviewed and how sometimes you do major run-on sentences that go nowhere birds like to make white poop. If you enjoy today's Mike's Daily Podcast Players' production you can read their script below.

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, John Deer the Engineer, and Benita the Rodeo Queen, PLUS we bring you return of the much loved segment MASTERPOD THEATER featuring our very special take on Ted Talks called TURD TALKS!

Tomorrow we bring you no show but we shall return again next week with the much missed segment NEWS RANDOM, plus we'll hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster!

And now, the Mike’s Daily Podcast Players present…Our Rendition of a Ted Talk…

Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for tonight’s TURD TALK speaker, Linda Gabblegoffonandon…

(Applause)

Thank you. Thank you. I didn’t realize I was going to get applause. I mean, it’s not like I invented air.

(Laughter)

Oh, I guess I did. That’s why I’m here tonight getting the chance to speak to you in tonight’s Turd Talk.

Air, why do we need it? I asked that question at a young age and made my life an unrelenting pursuit of the answer. When I was 45 I invented air and it changed my life…and the world.

(Applause)

Thank you. People ask me, Linda, why air? Why not invent fire? Or wind? Or earth? And I tell them, I can’t sing.

(Laughter)

That was a 70’s group. They did my favorite song, “25 or 6 to 4”

(off mic) That was Chicago!

Sir, I don’t go to your place of work and heckle you so please don’t shout out city names during my Turd Talk.

(off mic) But that’s the name of the band…Chicago…with Peter Cetera!

Security, can you please remove that man? Thank you!

(off mic) but that’s the name of the band…I paid good money to see this Turd Talk.

And he’s gone.

(Applause)

How a male got in this auditorium, I don’t know. I thought we screened for that…

(Laughter)

So why air and what can we learn from it. Ask yourself, name 3 things in your life that you couldn’t do without. Go ahead, think about it. I’ll give you some time…

I bet, the first thing all of you thought of…was air.

(Applause)

Do you know why that is? Do you know why you all listed air, money, and underwear formerly owned by Leonardo DiCaprio? It’s because we all must strive to make this a sustainable planet. We all must do whatever we can to stay green and end fraking. We all must stay at home and eat hemp hearts and ladies, we must all cut our hair short so we look like lesbians if we’re not. Because we only go around this life once. Then we die and we’re dead and we don’t live. That’s what we must learn from life. That’s what we must learn from each other. And that’s what I’ve learned from you. That I’m stinkin’ rich because I invented air.

(Applause)

Thank you thank you thank you I gotta go my helicopter’s landed on the roof to get me the hell out of here goodbye.

You have been listening to the Mike’s Daily Podcast Players production of Our Rendition of a Ted Talk! Brought to you by Vapid Response Alarm System. For those of you who want a vapid response like “huh?”…”what?”…”I don’t know

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 511 Monday May 13th 2013 6pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

We had the 2 year anniversary of this show recently. I think it was last Tuesday. Did I celebrate? In my own way. What's my own way? I don't know how to describe it. It involves jumping up and down and clapping and spinning around and trying not to puke. Happy Anniversary me!

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW featuring the finale of my interview with singer/songwriter Ruby Velle of the band RUBY VELLE & THE SOULPHONICS!

Tomorrow we bring you the return of the segment MASTERPOD THEATER, plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 510 Sunday May 12th 2013 10pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

I am addicted to a 10 year old BBC detective show called "The Last Detective." It's on Netflix. It's just 13 episodes. It's very British but also has some interesting characters that aren't completely cop-procedural-cliche. Oh yeah, and it also has former 80's Doctor Who Peter Davison. Yeah, I'm a Who Head. A Whovillian. A Who Huh. I like the show. Leave me alone.

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW featuring the amazing band from Atlanta...Ruby Velle & the Soulphonics!

Tomorrow I bring you the finale of my INTO AN INTERVIEW with Ruby Velle of RUBY VELLE & THE SOULPHONICS! Plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 509 Saturday May 11th 2013 3pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

I saw the downtown Castro Valley parade today. Actually, I didn't. I got there like 5 minutes late walking Basil the Boxer. I did get to see a bunch of people walking away with balloons. I guess balloons were dispersed amongst the public. Oh good.

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the segment THE BOTTOM OF THE CHARTS looking back 20 years ago to a year full of newly born grunge and Bodyguard soundtracks!

Tomorrow we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW where we'll be talking to a great group called Ruby Velle & the Soulphonics, PLUS we'll hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 508 Thursday May 9th 2013 8pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Ever have a conversation with yourself to get yourself to workout? That is the topic on today's show along with what crazy new device Amazon is working on and why having dogs around is a good idea.
Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment MASTERPOD THEATER where we hear an interesting production involving a mouth and a fat. The script from that is reproduced below.

Tomorrow we bring you the segment THE BOTTOM OF THE CHARTS! Plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer!

The Mike’s Daily Podcast Players present…

The Conversation Mike’s Body Has With Him When He Goes to Work Out…

Okay…here we go…I’m going to do some pull ups, some push ups, sit ups, lift some weights, and do some burpees.

Mike, I wouldn’t do that!

Who’s that?

It’s your body. I am the one you need to talk into doing all the aforementioned activities. Especially, burpees. Are you really going to drink a soda before working out?

No, body, burpees are when you, starting from a standing position, jump down to do a push up the jump up and clap your hands. I touch the ceiling since my living room is too low.

That’s ridiculous. What a complete waste of time. By the way my name’s not body!

What is it?

It’s SATAN!

WHAT???

Just kidding, no my name is not body, it’s Louis CK.

What? The comedian?

Yes, I am named after the funniest man on Earth.

Why?

Have you taken a look in the mirror lately?

Okay, that’s disturbing.

Let it inspire you to mould your body into the temple you want it to be.

Okay, I will, Louis CK.

Best show ever!

Never seen it. Listen, the sooner I get this work out started the sooner I get this over with.

Fine, you’re just doing all those exercises once, right? And then we eat Der Weinerschnitzel?

What? When was the last time we ate there? Seriously, marriage did one good thing for me, it taught me not to eat there any more.

Yeah, when you were single you ate there like it was your own kitchen…but with really unhealthy food every where.

Yes, but I do love the A-frame stand alone Der Weinerschnitzel buildings.

Why did you just say that?

Because if that DID have to be my own kitchen, I would want it to be such a nifty shaped building.

Okay. Fine. So you’re doing all those exercises once and we’re done.

No, we do them 3 times. 3 sets if you will.

What the f*%#? Are you crazy? We’ll never eat junk food at this rate.

That’s right, Louis CK. Remember, I don’t want to be him, right?

Why not? He’s friends with Chris Rock.

That’s fine, I wouldn’t mind being as well known as him, or even just plain known, but I don’t want to be the fat 40 something. I aspire for healthiness and fewer rolls.

Be that way.

With your help, hopefully I will.

Well then…let’s get to it. Do we burp first?

No, burpees come a little later once we’ve warmed up a little. What music do you want to listen to?

Anything but Bon Iver.

Well we agree on one thing.

You have been listening to MASTERPOD THEATER and the Mike’s Daily Podcast Players production of The Conversation Mike’s Body Has With Him When He Goes to Work Out. Brought to you by the new movie Iron Man 3 in theater everywhere and reducing people’s eyeball into overstimulated glazed over orbs of dust everywhere.

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 507 Wednesday May 8th 2013 6pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Below you'll be able to read the scrip from today's Willya Shadup segment. Oh, it's some great reading! Not responsible for blindness.

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the return of the political talk show that needs to be buried at the end of an obscure podcast, WILLYA SHADUP's LIBERTY NATION FREEDOM PHONE FOR ALL!

Tomorrow we will bring you the interview delayed from today with the band THE GOOD LISTENERS, plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley!

The script for today's Willya Shadup segment...

Hello, this is Willya Shadup and I hate Moooozlems! I hate them so much I say their name funny. Mooooozlems! I could say Muslims, but that wouldn’t demonstrate how much I hate them! (Except Cat Stevens.) Let’s take a call…

Hello, Willya, I would like to ask you as a fellow Republican how we are supposed to not lose another presidential election if we perpetuate the stereotype of being the party of hate? You saying you hate Muslims. Ann Coulter saying the same. All of FOX news sounding like a hate factory.

OH YEAH??? What about Democrats hating CHRISTIANS? Huh?

How can you say Democrats hate Christians? Have you seen how many Christian churches there are in the USA? Have you seen how many Democrats want a nice comfy cloud to sit on when their dead? Do you know how boring Sundays are WITHOUT going to church?

Right, and how else are you supposed to meet chicks?

Exactly! I’m not going online! I might end up on a blind date with a chicken.

Fellow Republican I believe you and I have found our point of agreement. However, I still hate Democrats!

And I’m sure most of them hate Republicans. And I bet a lot hate Ann Coulter.

And yet does that get any media attention??? No!!! Because all media is controlled by liberal left wing lefties and their left handed Hollywood homosexual friends!

Actually, Willya, most media say in their political news stories that both sides do it. That no one party is innocent. It’s their way of trying to APPEAR unbiased, when really they really just end up over looking whatever the hysterical extremist side is saying.

And what side are you insinuating is that?

Willya, have you listened to your show lately?

I DON’T HAVE TIME I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING IT! Thank you caller I hope you have a good day trying to exist in that world you live in where you use your brain and stuff. Whatta loser! And that’s all the brain I can use on today’s show---and all the Coulter Bashing I can take. Never put down my beautiful blonde angel. Your hair so glowing, your opinions so adroit. I long for your next exciting book, so I can stare at the cover. So hot. This is Willya Shadup’s Liberty Nation Freedom Phone For All! Back to you, Mike, who looks nothing like Ann Coulter, dammit.

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 506 Sunday May 5th 2013 4pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Happy Cinco De Mayo! Now go drink a margarita and eat some nachos!

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW with the FINALE of my interview with singer/songwriter BARBAROSSA aka James Mathe!

Tomorrow we bring you a NEW INTO AN INTERVIEW with an interview of the band THE GOOD LISTENERS, plus we'll hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 505 Friday May 3rd 2013 3pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

I wandered upon the new Exploratorium along the Embarcadero in San Francisco, last night. It looks fantastic! Plus it was their first after hours adults only night. So many young people! So many hipsters! So many pretty women wearing glasses! It was like Portland! Pure Portlandia along the Embarcadero in San Fran! I'm not sure if they do it every Thursday night but it definitely looked packed. I then ate an orange and moved on to Pier 39. Had to see the Sea Lions. So cute.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW with PART 1 of my interview with James Mathe otherwise known as Barbarossa!

Tomorrow we bring the FINALE of my interview with Barbarossa, PLUS we'll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 504 Monday April 29th 2013 10pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

I'm making a chicken enchilada. Gotta run and see if it's burning. Just thought I'd share that with you because I share that kinda crap with OH NO IT'S BURNING!!!

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the FINALE of my INTO AN INTERVIEW with Portland, Oregon's SALLIE FORD & THE SOUND OUTSIDE!

Tomorrow we bring you the return of the segment MASTERPOD THEATER, plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 503 Sunday April 28th 2013 4pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

So I finished watching almost all the Torchwood episodes except for Miracle Day (that's not up on Netflix yet). Interesting show but it drags a lot by creating annoying characters that end up dying anyway. I think it will be around a while in that it does come up with some crazy science fiction crossed with crime procedurals. It all takes place in a town called Cardiff. With all the blood shed it should be renamed Carnage.

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you PART 3 of my INTO AN INTERVIEW with Sallie Ford of the amazing band SALLIE FORD & THE SOUND OUTSIDE!

Tomorrow you'll hear the FINALE of my INTO AN INTERVIEW with Sallie Ford of SALLIE FORD & THE SOUND OUTSIDE, plus we'll hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 502 Thursday April 25th 2013 5pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Drugs found on Justin Beiber's tour bus in Sweden? And a stun gun? Oh no, he's already hit his paranoid Elvis stage! Poor kid. Ditch the singing career and get a job a Walmart! Diffuse yourself now!

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we hear my INTO AN INTERVIEW part 2 with Sallie Ford of the great Portland, Oregon band SALLIE FORD AND THE SOUND OUTSIDE!

Tomorrow we bring you part 3 of my INTO AN INTERVIEW with Sallie Ford of SALLIE FORD AND THE SOUND OUTSIDE, plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 501 Wednesday April 24th 2013 2pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

We're half way through the week! Isn't that just amazing! No? Poor Wednesday gets no respect.

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW where I speak to the lovely Sallie Ford of the band SALLIE FORD AND THE SOUND OUTSIDE!

Tomorrow I'll have part 2 of my INTO AN INTERVIEW with Sallie Ford of SALLIE FORD AND THE SOUND OUTSIDE! Plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 500 Tuesday April 23rd 2013 9pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

YES, IT'S THE 500TH EFFIZODE! Drop the balloons! We celebrate and I make a very special announcement! Don't miss today's podcast!

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the segment WOW SCHATZ WOW where we look at a surprising fact about how newspaper's are adapting.

Tomorrow we will have my INTO AN INTERVIEW segment with the utterly amazing Sallie Ford & the Sound Outside. Prepare to be blown away by one of Portland's best! We'll also hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster!

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 499 Monday April 22nd 2013 9pm Pacific Time
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

As a first on Mike's Daily Podcast I am including the script I wrote for one of the sketches. You can read it at the bottom of this blog post. I hope you enjoy because it took a lot of time to write that b@st@rd! Do you have any idea how much white-out I had to use?!?
Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment WILLYA SHADUP's LIBERTY NATION FREEDOM PHONE FOR ALL where conservative talk radio meets a swift hand slap across the face.

Tomorrow we bring you the segment WOW, SCHATZ, WOW, plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer.

Okay...here's the script from today's WILLYA SHADUP. This is some of the sausage making, if you will...

"There’s a lot of hooey going on in today’s world and by “hooey” I mean sh*t!

Let’s take a call…

Hello Willya. This is Geraldine from Norfolk Virginia. I am so disgusted that Obama didn’t say terrorism at all last week. He didn’t even say terrorists! He didn’t even say terror…or tear…or t--! Why won’t he say exactly what I want him to say?

I don’t know, Gerald. It could be because he’s not made out of a felt substance that you can easily stick your hand in to control his mouth. AND THAT’S SO UNAMERICAN!!! Let’s take another call…

Hey Willya, this is Bob, first time listener, long time caller. Can you explain to me why the sequester hasn’t killed me yet? I mean, Obama said it was going to be such a big deal, but nothing happened! Absolutely nothing! Hold on, my house has been on fire for three hours and I’m just seeing if that’s the firem---. Nope. Just a big red Swan’s truck. Gee I love that icecream.

You can’t get me to eat their icecream fast enough! That is, unless they change their name to Chick-Filet and make a delicious Christian chicken icecream. Closed on Sunday’s because Jesus believes my pancreas needs a day of rest. Let’s take one more call!

Willya, I am not conservative, nor a Republican, nor a libertarian, nor a tea-partier, nor a closeted gay homophobe who loves to watch George Clooney in his pre-gray years. I am, however, a defender of marriage. And not how 2013 defines marriage, but how 1013 defines marriage: between a man, a woman, and some sort of livestock that provides all the milk I require. Willya, I believe in human freedom. And in human bondage. In fact, I’m having a party if you’d like to come over tonight. Just leave your keys in the tray on the way passed the door. You’ll enjoy my party, Willya. It’s my party for two party. We’re a little repetitive, but I found it’s more stimulating if it’s done over and over again.

Thank you non-defined caller. I will NOT show up at your party because I’m deathly afraid of you, but I do believe we should go through life non-defined! No labels! No pre-conceived notions. (Geez that guy was a wack-job).

Join me again next time for another exciting call-in show as we tackle the big topics that grip America!"

End scene.

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