Mike's Daily Podcast

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 311 Tuesday May 15th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

So Facebook is raising their IPO stock price higher
guess Zuckerberg enjoyed his birthday all nighter
he turned another age in only the twenties
chances for making money he'll have plenty
Rebekah Brooks finally got charged in the cell phone hacking scandal
she's as guilty as Murdoch but not the right gender to avoid shackles
Britain may put her away a few months or a few years
meanwhile Murdoch sits back and enjoys a few beers
and Obama went on the View and said Biden did not force his hand about gay marriage
how does ABC keep getting these big scoops
President O made his first announcement on them too...about his same sex marriage opinion...today is National Chocolate Chip Day and Police Officer's Memorial Day.

Today we hear from Valentino, Bison Bentley, and Madame Rootabega, PLUS we bring you part 2 of my interview with the lead singer of the band the Joel Plaskett Emergency, AND on NEWS RANDOM, why the rising gas prices NOW?

Tomorrow we bring you part 3 of INTO AN INTERVIEW with Joel Plaskett, PLUS we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer who will be enjoying Love a Tree Day, National Sea Monkey Day, and Wear Purple for Peace Day. Floyd will love a tree, John Deer will vouch for saving the sea monkey, and Chely will wear purple...because nothing else matches in her closet. It's purple for peace among the colors.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 310 Monday May 14th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

So as Greece struggles to form a government
our stocks are having a tough time of it
and there's personal misconduct with Best Buy
so the founder will be soon saying "Goodbye"
meanwhile Yahoo is looking for a permanent CEO
the former one fudged on his resume and so he go
and did you know today is Dance Like a Chicken Day
the chicken dance song started in the 1950's got folks on their way
to dancing like chickens. A very strange activity especially when you're not a chicken.
And today I was thinking about a listener
I used to have that brought me t-shirts...on my birthday...I still have most of those shirts...they all had goofy sayings on them...like Et Tu Dufus?

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW with part 1 of my interview with the band The Joel Plaskett Emergency, AND on NEWS RANDOM, "The Vow" outliving "The Notebook?"

Tomorrow we hear part 2 of INTO AN INTERVIEW with The Joel Plaskett Emergency, PLUS we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley who will enjoy National Chocolate Chip Day by putting chocolate chips all over themselves and pretending to be cookies. Those are some cookies you'd definitely want to lose.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 309 Sunday May 13th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Well the JP Morgan people responsible for the debts
lost their jobs over what they did to the markets
meanwhile Bristol Palin complains about Obama
being too "Glee" though she likes the drama
today of course was Mother's Day and it first started in 1908
we celebrated with my mother-in-law eating brunch really late
today is also Leprechaun Day which makes no sense I feel
St. Patricks Day was 2 months ago so what's the deal?
And it's Frog Jumping Day which doesn't have to do with Mark Twain except he wrote a cool story about jumping frogs.
In other stuff have you noticed how TV intro's
are now shorter than most lightning strikes and so...that's just an observation I made...on a late Sunday...what the hey.

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the FINALE of our interview with the lead singer of the band The Balconies, Jacquie Neville, AND on NEWS RANDOM, Harry Potter is bigger then ever at church?

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW with part 1 of my interview with the band The Joel Plaskett Emergency, PLUS we'll hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster who will be celebrating Dance Like a Chicken Day by trying to dance like a chicken. If that doesn't work then they'll try to dance like a Mike Matthews. Now that's hilarious!

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 308 Saturday May 12th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Spotify to roll out Pandora-like features in the news
that's like Coke trying to taste more like orange juice
when I say I use Pandora people tell me
there's more freedom with Spotify you'll see
Mitt Romney's going to speak at the biggest Christian college
you know, that's where the students get Bible not knowledge
after all the Tree of Knowledge was evil in Genesis
and later it was Christians that burned scientists
just a brief history lesson there. Oh, but that's "knowledge" so I guess that must be evil
Oh look today is Limerick Day and Birth Mother's Day
as well as Fatigue Syndrome, International Nurses, and Migratory Bird Day...yes those are all random...but this show specializes in random.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you part 3 of my interview with the lead singer of The Balconies, Jacquie Neville, AND on NEWS RANDOM, is the Fitbit sh*#?

Tomorrow we'll have the FINALE of my interview with the lead singer of The Balconies, Jacquie Neville, PLUS we'll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer who will be enjoying Frog Jumping Day, Leprechaun Day, and Mother's Day by jumping around their mom's and demanding their pot of gold...just like all irreverent children.

Oh, and as ERRATA: Basil was getting RE hydrated, not DEhydrated.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 307 Friday May 11th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

DISCLAIMER: The 8 pound gorilla featured in today's show is actually 800 pounds. I just accidentally divided by 100. I good wit numbers!

JP Morgan loses a bunch of cash
2 billion dollars is quite a big stash
so here comes more regulation for the banks
after 30 years of fun they have to get their spanks
Time magazine has a mom breast-feeding her three year old
I'm progressive about issues but this one I must hold
off on because that's just a bit much, don't you think?
But I don't have breasts so I guess I'm not one to speak
meanwhile Republicans say Obama's a bully because he teased a girl named Coretta in middle school
bullying is a big issue and is in very bad taste
let's focus on that and not the damn political race...today is Eat What You Want Day, Twilight Zone Day, and Military Spouses Day.

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW with part 2 of my interview with the lead singer of the band The Balconies, Jacquie Neville, AND on NEWS RANDOM, why Starbucks why?

Tomorrow we'll hear part 3 of my interview with lead singer of The Balconies, Jacquie Neville, PLUS we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley on Birth Mother's Day and Fatigue Syndrome Day. Valentino thinks he has Fatigue Syndrome, but then he realizes he's just tired of Bison. Bison, you're just a tiring kind of guy. Stop that.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 306 Thursday May 10th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

So Obama said marriage for the gays
now the news is covering it like it were the end of days
Republicans are happy because now they think
they might have a chance even though their chances stink
Romney is apologizing for being a bully in high school
does that rule of no apologizing apply to campaigning presidential fools
meanwhile Cougar Town won't die it's moving to TBS
that's where it should have started it's such a mess
today is Clean Up Your Room Day. We missed School Nurse Day and Lost Sock Day yesterday.
Sorry we had no show for Wednesday
we also missed Train Day and Receptionist Day...but we don't have a receptionist for this show...we don't have a lot of things for this show...sense being one of them.

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you part 1 of our INTO AN INTERVIEW segment where we speak to the lead singer of the band The Balconies, Jacquie Neville! And on NEWS RANDOM, why no free WiFi?

Tomorrow we'll bring you Part 2 of my interview with the lead singer of The Balconies, Jacquie Neville on INTO AN INTERVIEW, plus we'll hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster who will celebrate Eat What You Want Day and Twilight Zone Day. The Brewmaster will eat what he wants which is usually what he does any way, and Benita will celebrate Twilight Zone Day by trying to watch an episode. She doesn't like black and white tv shows since she thinks their too cheap to pay for color.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 305 Tuesday May 8th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Today is Iris Day and did you know about me
I have a cousin named Iris in Germany?
An Iris is actually a flower which I didn't know
when it comes to a lot of plants I'm pretty slow
I think I know what Poison Oak looks like after I
had a bad bout of it in 2011 that made me want to cry
today is also No Socks Day so enjoy some barefoot action
just don't slip on a banana peel because you'll be in traction
today is also Victory In Europe Day or V-E Day when we finally defeated the damn Nazi's and I just read an interesting story about it
the date for V-E Day was originally tomorrow
but the press caught wind of it and there you go...Russia stuck to the May 9th date...they still celebrate it May 9th...hello, I'm the History Channel...It's also World Red Cross Day and National Teachers Day.

Today we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we'll bring you the segment EMAIL FOR ME MAIL, and on NEWS RANDOM, what the hell is Pinhole Photograph?

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment MIKE ON MOBILE, plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer who will be celebrating National Train Day, National Receptionist Day, School Nurses Day, and Lost Sock Memorial Day. Floyd will mourn the loss of his precious polka dot sock he's had since 1955. The sock was lost but he kept the companion till five minutes ago when I made him throw it out. Geez, just let go already! Floyd, stay away from my TV Guide Collection you b@&%^#*!!!

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 304 Monday May 7th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

So if you are a fan of this show, thank you
today is a day you should celebrate too
today is the one year anniversary of Mike's Daily Podcast
one year of utterly crazy Internet gas
we are celebrating today with all the characters from this show
they will be visiting to say things like how you should know
that they are being held against their will and free them
but they're just kidding and you should just ignore 'em
today is also Astronomy Day so you should look up at the stars tonight and be thankful you have a planet to stand on
it's also National Tourism Day and I know
yesterday was Tourism Appreciation Day, yeah so?...I didn't invent these days...only the anniversary day...that's all mine and you are welcome.

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, the Brewmaster, and others, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE's CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE with any extremely special guest, and on NEWS RANDOM, a grandmother lives without money for 16 years.

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment EMAIL FOR ME MAIL, plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley who will be celebrating No Socks Day and National Teachers Day. Usually it's the teachers complaining the kids have no socks. Tomorrow it will be me complaining about Bison not having socks. Actually, it will be my nose complaining. Actually, out and out revolting.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 303 Sunday May 6th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

I thought today was going to Mother's Day
seems my calendar went astray
today is No Diet Day however
which tries to abolish anorexia forever
the day is all about appreciating your body
and not getting swept up in every diet fad you see
today is also Beverage Day so you should try
to stay away from drinks in which their sugar is high
today is also Nurse Day thought International Nurse Day's not till May 12th, if you care
it's also Tourism Appreciation Day
I guess that means if you see a tourist you should say...Hi there friend...welcome to my town...spend a lot of money...then get out!

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK? And on NEWS RANDOM, yeah, Avengers kicked butt.

Tomorrow we will bring you the delayed segment from last week MIKE's CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE, plus we'll hear from the Brewmaster, Benita, and the Disgruntled Fiddle Player who will all be enjoying Astronomy Day, No Socks Day, and National Teachers Day. The Brewmaster claims he's an astronomer while Benita just says he's from another planet.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 302 Saturday May 5th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

DISCLAIMER: I FOR SOME REASON THOUGHT IT WAS MOTHER'S DAY TOMORROW SO IGNORE MY FOLLOWING MISTAKES...
I can't believe I forgot Star Wars Day yesterday, how rude!
Being that it was May the Fourth...May the Force be with you!
My favorite Star Wars movie is still the first one, I wish I made it
I have "Lucas envy" which is crazy I admit
but today is Cinco De Mayo, I'll amend,
tomorrow is Seis De Mama so make sure to spend
some time with your mom in person or on the phone
if she likes coffee don't forget to give her a scone
and if you like eating today is also National Hoagie Day and Oyster Day!
Those are two foods that should be nowhere near each other
Now I'll end my song with "word to your mother!"...that word should be "thanks"...since she put up with you...or she sat you in front of the TV and went out...whatever.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW with the finale of my interview with singer/songwriter Dean Harlem, and on NEWS RANDOM, "mumblecore" must die!

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK? Plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer who will celebrate Mother's Day in an interesting way: Chely will take her mom out to brunch. Floyd will celebrate Beverage Day and No Diet Day. John Deer will celebrate Nurses Day and Tourists Day. All those days are tomorrow. Floyd's got it easy with Beverage and No Diet Day, but John Deer will have a hard time enjoying Nurses and Tourists Day. It's never good when Tourists meet Nurses. Montezuma's Revenge anyone?

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 301 Friday May 4th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Today is Bird Day for you bird folks
when it's Cat Day the birds will be like "Oh No!"
Birds are beautiful little creatures I found
so many of them when I lived in Alabama town
they used to attack the side mirrors of my car during the spring
I think they thought they were other birds and they were trying
to mate with them and they pooped all along the side of my car
so strange but I guess we're all looking for love so there you are
today is also International Tuba Day for those of you who love that gloriously huge instrument with a large bottom end
there's a joke there but I must also tell you
today is Candied Orange Peel Day and I'm not through...it's Renewal Day...and Space Day...I think that just about does it....tweet tweet tweet.

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW with part 2 of our interview with singer/songwriter Dean Harlem, and on NEWS RANDOM, more on the Biggest Loser controversy.

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW and the finale of my interview with singer/songwriter Dean Harlem, PLUS we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley who after enjoying Bird Day, Tuba Day, Space Day, Renewal Day, and Candied Orange Day will take a massive breath and then get ready for Cinco De Mayo! Yum how they love Mexican food! But it will also be Hoagie Day and Oyster Day! Tune in tomorrow as Madame Rootabega tries to put an oyster on a hoagie while Valentino and Bison try to stop her by feeding her a pitcher of margarita's...on the rocks but no salt, please. It's like the Mexican James Bond. Jamie Bondosa.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 300 Thursday May 3rd 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

So today is Lumpy Rug Day oh wow
for those of you who care at all right now
it's for rugs that need to be un-lumpified
cuz lumpy rugs are not dignified
today is also World Press Freedom Day
for those journalists who get into harm's way
and bring us the news in far off foreign lands
though if it's not about the Kardashians most people don't understand
so Newt Gingrich is out of the race. How long did it take that egomaniac to finally cave?
If you're a Newt fan then I must be mean
but I'm perplexed by the guy from what I've seen...I do wish I had his shiny hair...and his way of making everyone in the South love him...that's quite an ability.

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW with part 1 of our interview with singer/songwriter/nice guy Dean Harlem, and on NEWS RANDOM, Biggest Loser quitters.

Tomorrow we will bring you part 2 of INTO AN INTERVIEW with Dean Harlem, plus we'll hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster: three people who don't give a crap about what I write right here so I'll just stop now.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 299 Wednesday May 2nd 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Today is Wednesday and also it happens to be
Baby Day as far as I can see
celebrating those little pudgy people
who poo and pee whenever they need to
it's also Brothers and Sisters Day
where you should call your siblings and Hi you should say
I'm an only child so I guess that means I call no one
that explains all the characters on this show some
May is Date Your Mate Month, National Bike Month, and National Barbecue Month
so bbq for your love on a date
then ride a bike and you'll be great...I honestly am not a fan of bikes...I bicycled too much as a kid...I rode my bike 6 miles to school in the San Fernando Valley every day...hazardous.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE RIPS SOMEONE A NEW ONE, and on NEWS RANDOM, deconstruction over demolition.

Tomorrow we bring you the segment MIKE's CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE plus we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer: three people who love celebrating Baby Day because they think babies are the cutest thing in the world. Well, the cutest thing NEXT to baby bats. Oh those cute little winged, blind, screeching rodents! Forget babies...what about RABIES! That's what they're talking about. Oddly.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 298 Tuesday May 1st 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

So today is the beginning of May
and you might know that it's May Day
it's celebrated around the planet
it's for spring and the summer we'll soon get
in communist countries it celebrates the workers
it's not a holiday in the U.S. except for Hawaii where I'm sure
they call the day "Lei Day" that's something I didn't know
but most of all today you need a May pole
or you celebrate Loyalty Day made in the U.S. to show loyalty to our country started by President Eisenhower
that day was in response to the scare of communism
don't eat old food cuz you can get botulism...and that's no good...today is also Mother Goose Day...and Save the Rhino Day...you're welcome.

Today we hear from Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE's SCAVENGER HUNT, and on NEWS RANDOM, an empty mystery diner is finally opened!

Tomorrow we bring you the segment MIKE RIPS SOMEONE A NEW ONE, plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley: three people who have never caught botulism, except for last May Day when the Brewmaster served them rootbeer made with mayonnaise. The Brewmaster then had to leave the country for a few weeks while the three food poisoning victims got over their desire for revenge. You can only imagine the tension that hung in the air the day the Brewmaster returned. Good thing he brought some more delicious mayonnaise rootbeer to break the ice.

Mike Matthews

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 297 Monday April 30th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Today is the last day of April oh wow
it's also 2 holidays that I shall tell you about
today is National Honesty Day
as opposed to a month ago and April Fools Day
it's also Hairstyle Appreciation Day so let me be clear
to appreciate what on your head if it is hair
and you had to pick a style for it so kudos to you
for walking out of the house make a decision or 2
hairstyles come and go just like pop songs and Disney appointed teen stars
I have been doing a month of no coffee in the morning
I've been doing pretty good with no coffee beans to warm me...I sometimes get a decaf mocha late in the day...that's not good with calories...even if you get them lite...oh cruel life.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE's ABSOLUTELY USELESS REVIEW, and on NEWS RANDOM, "steampunk" in the Bay Area.

Tomorrow we bring you the segment MIKE's SCAVENGER HUNT, plus we hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer: three people who love my lack of hair hairstyle. They're so impressed they have gotten rid of their hair. To which their hairs got upset and demanded to be reinstated upon their heads. The hairs were refollicled and now the three are back to normal. But no less annoying.

Mike Matthews

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