Mike's Daily Podcast

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 224 Friday January 27th 2012

Well let's look at all the Oscar nominees
for the Best Picture of 2011 and all that sleaze
It looks like it's The Artist, The Help, and Hugo
along with six other movies I really don't know
except that War Horse movie that looks really sad
as well as that Woody Allen movie and the one with Brad
you know, Brad Pitt, and then The Tree of Life there you are
that one has Brad too and is supposed to be bizarre
I haven't seen any of the best picture nominees...and I'm not sure I'm all that sorry
Billy Crystal will be the host this year
his hair will be dyed from ear to ear

Today we hear from Floyd the Floorman, John Deer the Engineer, and Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE MAKES MUSIC!

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment MIKE RIPS SOMEONE A NEW ONE! Plus we'll hear from The Brewmaster, Benita the Rodeo Queen, and The Disgruntled Fiddle Player: three people who never watch the academy awards because they're afraid they'll lose control of their butt after the show is over. It's a long show.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 222 Thursday January 26th 2012

So last night was my fourth night of taking Pilate's
and I'm starting to feel it in my back and my knees
well more my back in the shoulder blade area
I have one more class to go and then I'm done
I've learned a lot about how I can hardly stretch at all
and I use the excuse that it's because I'm tall
but I'm not that tall and basketball players can do it
I guess I just need to work out more and get more fit
I think I need to take my dog on longer walks! What do you think of that Basil? (bark)
I think he just said he would be up for it then
as long as he can sniff some dog's hind end.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment WOW SCHATZ WOW!

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment MIKE MAKES MUSIC, plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer: three people that think Pilate's is something you order at a Greek restaurant and it comes with a dipping sauce. I love that tzatziki!

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 222 Wednesday January 25th 2012

I took my boxer, Basil, to the dog park today
he got to play with a beagle and two great danes
that was a hilarious sight and great exercise
for my dog who is one enjoyable little guy
dog parks are not always the best place to take your dog
some people let their dog fight with yours and don't try to stop
the little scuttle so your dog ends up with big bruises
that's why I've avoided dog parks because of the abuses
some people rely on the dog park solely for the dog's exercise and you really need to walk them. The park's no substitute.
So that's why the show's getting to you late today
thanks for being understanding and not being full of hate.

Today we hear from The Brewmaster, Benita the Rodeo Queen, and The Disgruntled Fiddle Player, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE's CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE where we hear a fun piece of audio from my past.

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment WOW SCHATZ WOW! Plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley: three people that hate dogs. I know, there's no rationale. I love dogs, but I don't hate cats. That's silly. You can love all God's creatures. Except for the one's that try to ram God down your throat. Those can go bugger off, as the British say.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 221 Tuesday January 24th 2012

So I'm starting to feel the pull but I don't want to go
back into the world of terrestrial radio
I did some investigating and I found
the radio stations in the bay area are the worst around
if I got back in it I would make zero bucks and work lousy hours
the appeal of that is like trying to sell frost to flowers
the question comes down to is it really worth it, the answers no
I'd rather work for Newt's election campaign than in radio
and since most radio people are republicans it would be virtually the same thing
so for now if you don't mind
I'll keep talking to you through the miracle of online

Today we hear from Floyd the Floorman, John Deer the Engineer, and Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, PLUS we bring you the segment THE MIKELOPEDIA INSANICA.

Tomorrow we bring you the segment MIKE's CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE where we hear another interesting piece of audio from my past, PLUS we hear from The Brewmaster, Benita the Rodeo Queen, and The Disgruntled Fiddle Player: three people that love terrestrial radio. They love EXTRATERRESTRIAL radio even more. That radio station from the planet Ork really rocks! Though Mork really needs to stop screaming "Good Morning, Vietnam!"

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 220 Monday January 23rd 2012

I watched the last part of the Niners game yesteday
I was cheering then crying then full of rage
I'm not a football fan but I get sucked in
when I'm surrounded by fans and they want to win
so now a superbowl's coming around the bend
and as per yooozzzh I'll be no where near a tv, friend
I'll be out enjoying the fresh clean air
unless I'm stuck in horrible traffic somewhere
which usually doesn't happen on superbowl sunday. You can usually drive anywhere during the game.
Basil needs to get his annual check up today
I hope he has a clean bill of health and I don't have much to pay.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK?

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment THE MIKELOPEDIA INSANICA, plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer: three people who are glued to any football game that's on tv. It could be a game between cartoon football players and their glued. They get pieces of paper and use glue. They're very arts and crafts mixed with a little insane football fanery and some obsession with glue. Their favorite first name is Elmer.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 219 Sunday January 22nd 2012

So the 49rs are playing today
and the superbowl could be their next stay
I haven't seen the game yet or the score
so consider me ignorant and poor
today has also been quite rainy and cold
not as typical as California so I am told
oh, and I heard Grooveshark might be closing
getting sued by all those record companies so imposing
I love Grooveshark for putting me in touch with so many songs that I thought were lost forever
Talk to Ya Later by the Tubes was one I found
nobody under 20 knows who that is and that makes me feel down

Today we hear from The Brewmaster, Benita the Rodeo Queen, and The Disgruntled Fiddle Player, PLUS we bring you a special interview in the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW featuring Amish news. Yes, everything you wanted to know about the Amish but never cared enough to ask!

Tomorrow we bring you the oft delayed segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK? Plus we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley: three people that think a grooveshark is a shark that can dance with Chaz Bono and can eat people that are too stupid to swim when there's a shark warning. Knock knock. Who's there? Grooveshark. No! Not Landshark! No, I said Grooveshark. Oh, okay. That's different. Come on in. Gobble gobble. Scream! And...End scene.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 218 Saturday January 21st 2012

So I hear Paula Dean has type 2 diabetes
I'm sad to hear she got the disease
watching her cooking made my mouth water
but I could also see the calories going skyward
I know butter makes everything better taste wise
but when you consume that stuff say goodbye to your thighs
not that Alton Brown's recipes are any better
his old show used to pour on salt like rainy weather
Meanwhile, Reebok is doing the smart thing and sponsoring Crossfit.
My wife does that and loves it
in 2012 this will be a hit to stay fit.

Today we hear from Floyd the Floorman, John Deer the Engineer, and Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor plus we bring you the segment MIKE's SCAVENGER HUNT where we talk to some place that I have been to that you should try to find!

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK plus we'll hear from The Brewmaster, Benita the Rodeo Queen, and The Disgruntled Fiddle Player: three people who think butter should be used on everything that was ever created to be edible. They also love salt. They are going to be rapidly joining America's growing "other 99%."

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 217 Friday January 20th 2012

So last night I made a crushing realization
it has to do with my particular location
there are so many restaurants and cafes
but I'm not liking any of them these days
we went to one last night called the Saturn Cafe
I used to like it now I think it don't deserve the praise
it's like a diner mixed with vegetarian food
but like so much diner fare for you it's not so good
and thinking back, I don't think I've liked any restaurants I've eaten in around here for months
maybe it's just a sign of eating out too much
you start to lose your taste and lose your touch...for finding good places to eat
make something at home and cook and such!

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE ON MOBILE!

Tomorrow we bring you the segment MIKE's SCAVENGER HUNT where I talk via phone with someone at some place you'll want to find! Plus we'll hear from Floyd the Floorman, John Deer the Engineer, and Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor: three people that eat out all the time and eat at the same place so much that now they have entered a restaurant sit com. That is, they walk in and everyone yells their names and they appear in interweaving plot lines and there's a laugh track that follows them. However, they are NOT the main characters in this sit com! Only supporting. Let the typecasting begin.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 216 Thursday January 19th 2012

So for the past 2 days I have not been at ease
I have been learning Pilate's
it's lots of stretching then pulling weights
then they charge you expensive rates
well I got this 5 class package on the net
the one that will be censored if we don't get
PIPA and SOPA thrown out and while we're at it
let's throw out the politicians who tried to add it
and let's get rid of the entertainment industry that tried to push this on us...idiots
so Pilate's is tough but I'll take it
the alternative is the even more brutal Crossfit

Today we hear from The Brewmaster, Benita the Rodeo Queen, and the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, PLUS we bring you the segment EMAIL FOR ME MAIL.

Tomorrow we bring you the segment MIKE ON MOBILE plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley: three people who only do Pilate's if they accidentally wander into a gym and someone pulls them into a class. Then they're usually brainwashed and forced to join the communist party. Then aliens come down and take them to L. Ron Hubbard's planet. Then there's some kind of huge tupperware party. Then there's all the hassle of trying to find their car again. And you thought YOUR day was chaotic.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 215 Wednesday January 18th 2012

On Sunday my wife and I with some cool gals and fella's
went to check out a vodka factory in Alameda's old base area
it was my wife's cousin's birthday celebration
and we went on a tour of the vodka designation
there was a tour guide who was a tour guide for the ADD generation
it looks like she had her very own pre-tour celebration
she turned every dull fact into some sort of hip hop reference
I think I learned something but I really can't tell the difference
we then tasted vodka, whisky, and absinthe. I do believe I was slightly cross-eyed when I left.
So Happy Birthday to my wife's cousin Shannon
to the best birthday tour that was way beyond fun!

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the segment RIDICULOUS RANDOM POSTS!

Tomorrow we bring you the segment delayed from today called EMAIL FOR ME MAIL, plus we'll hear from Benita the Rodeo Queen, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and The Brewmaster: three people that once drank vodka and woke up on some one's front lawn. Luckily the front lawn was kind of shaped like a huge bed...so they slept pretty well.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 214 Tuesday January 17th 2012

So Pam Baumgardner made an observation
about yesterday's show she brought to my attention
that I said I hate the cliche "I'm not prejudiced but..."
and early in the show I had said what
that I thought Carmel-By-The-Sea was entirely too white
that's an inconsistency in my show and it's not right
so here we go...I think Carmel is so incredibly diverse
sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth during that verse
but thanks Pam for trying to keep me from being a hypocrite...better luck next time
by the way I worked with Pam before in radio
she makes comments from time to time on this show.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment WHY THE HELL DID I YELP THAT?

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment EMAIL FOR ME MAIL. Plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer: three people who have no idea who Pam Baumgardner is, but they swear that she watches them while they sleep. Quite frankly, that's a bit freaky. And a bit true so keep your eyes open at night.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 213 Monday January 16th 2012

So today we remember Martin Luther King
the words he said changed everything
can you imagine him in a debate
with the morons that we've been seeing on stages of late?
I am having some people over tonight for a dinner
it's crockpot lasagna and that's going to be a winner
so I'm podcasting now before all the people show
I think they'll be here in an hour so I guess I need to go
and lay down this special Martin Luther King Jr. day podcast...here it is!
I don't think he would have liked my singing voice
of the great singers I am not a rolls royce.

Today we hear from The Brewmaster, Benita the Rodeo Queen, and the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, PLUS we bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK?

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment WHY THE HELL DID I YELP THAT? Plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley: three people who have tried my crockpot lasagna and have loved it. That is until they get home and then it's the present that keeps on giving. By giving I mean donating into a toilet bowl but perhaps I've said too much.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 212 Sunday January 15th 2012

I missed a podcast yesterday
I tried to make it but things got in the way
I have been yearning to head to the city, it's been said
and walk around near the water's edge
I went to the Embarcadero and to a Coffee Bean
and Tea Leaf, they're all over the So Cal scene
they make a blended coffee drink that must be the best, I
forgot how expensive it is though so once in a while I'll buy
and I read up on all the end of the year issues of Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone
Man, everyone sure loves the singer Adele
hope she doesn't go down the Amy Winehouse well

Today we hear from Floyd the Floorman, John Deer the Engineer, and Chely Shoehart, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE's CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE with another interesting piece of my audio past.

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK? Plus we'll hear from Benita the Rodeo Queen, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and The Brewmaster: three people that don't like to go to San Francisco because they think it's a tourist trap. Now if it was a bear trap, they would be interested. I don't know what that means.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 211 Friday January 13th 2012

Today is Friday the 13th but I'm not gonna care
radio stations talk about it like so much hot air
I watched The Fabric of the Cosmos last night on PBS online
watching that show will always always blow your mind!
I watched 2 shows back to back and I was transfixed
the host talked about dark energy and quantum mechanics
atoms operate in such a weird way and their rules so odd
they are as close to magic as anyone could ever want
meanwhile I am so happy my dang flu is finally over with and I feel normal again
I missed drinking coffee although it's decaf
tea only does so much for me then I nap.

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment RIDICULOUS RANDOM POSTS.

Tomorrow we bring you the segment MIKE's CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE where we hear another interesting piece of audio from my past. Plus we hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer: three people who have no idea how big the universe is. In fact, they don't even know what it is. They don't even know what gravity is. Too bad it still works for them anyway.

Mike

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 210 Thursday January 12th 2012

Okay, so I don't think you've noticed
that there has been almost a week absence
of this show because I have been ill
I got it Friday and since have been lying still
first there were the chills followed by a deep cough
then eventually my sinuses felt like they were falling off
meanwhile I tried to get on my computer and it was sick too
keeps turning off and I have tried everything I know to do
I'm really hoping this doesn't happen during one of my podcast recordings because that just might make me rethink this whole idea of creative expression
so I think that's it for me for the 2012 flu
and I only hope this bitch doesn't happen to you.

Today we hear from The Brewmaster, Benita the Rodeo Queen, and the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, PLUS we bring you the very long delayed segment MIKE ON MOBILE.

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment RIDICULOUS RANDOM POSTS, plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley: three people who had no idea the show was off for a week. They just thought it was on and that podcasts are little things that float in water that frogs sit on. Yeah, they're THAT out of touch.

Mike

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